By Eileen Spatz
As the waning days of Spring 2020 give way to summer, I can’t help but reflect on the past three months spent mostly sequestered in my home. There is a sense of loss, melancholy even, at having been robbed of an entire season due to the unwelcome invasion of an invisible and formidable enemy, the coronavirus.
Springtime is such a lovely season, one of renewal and hope as days grow longer and brightly colored blossoms brighten up every landscape. But this spring so many of the delights of the season were sidelined, as the weight of fear kept us largely indoors. I am one who supports the actions taken to keep the virus tamped down, seeing it as a necessary evil for protecting public health. But my selfish side still feels irked that so much of the usual springtime rituals spent with my grandkids had to be skipped. No sleepovers, no hugs, no going on our usual fun outings like train rides, the zoo, the pool, the beach, or the movies. These missed opportunities have had to take a backseat to social distancing protocols put in place to protect not only people my age, but mostly those in my parents’ age group.
I surprised myself by adapting to the bunker mentality fairly smoothly. I methodically filled my pantry and freezer, preparing for who-knows-what, but feeling peaceful with all these provisions in place. I told myself that, yes, if need be, I can survive on canned beans and peanut butter. Of course, I didn’t waste any time plowing through the yummy comfort foods and snacks that I stocked up on, leaving me now with only the dregs for a future disaster… said canned beans and the like. Oh well, living in California means that any stored provisions may come in handy if a big earthquake hits, so at least none of this preparing has gone to waste.
As the last days of spring bid us farewell it is only fair to balance the sad feelings of being robbed of an entire season with thoughts of what was gained during the stay-at-home measures. Yes, you read that correctly. I do believe there were some positives that should also be considered about this historic event.
· I am even more appreciative of my family and friends. Since I had to endure the lockdown alone it cannot be over-emphasized how much I love and appreciate the people in my life. Any visits (outdoors) with my daughters and grandkids have been like rocket fuel that supercharged my heart for days. Communicating regularly with my friends gave me a sense of solace and belonging. Even just receiving a text asking, “Checking in with you…how are you doing?” left me feeling loved and cared for.
· My faith has deepened. As someone who deeply treasures my faith, having to forgo my usual church activities has been very, very difficult. But thanks to livestreamed Mass, rosaries, Zoom meetings with my women’s group, and spending more time reading and reflecting I have experienced renewed fervor. There have been many private moments—profound tears of love and gratitude for Christ—that surprised me. Holy Week, in particular, was intensely rich for me this year. I will never forget that powerful video of Andrea Bocelli standing in front of the Duomo in Milan on Easter singing Amazing Grace while images of the empty streets of so many beloved cities crossed the screen.
· My appreciation of nature is enhanced. After it was safe to get out and about a little, I didn’t hesitate to capture the beauty of the spring season by taking little excursions in my car. Suddenly, the ocean looked even more sparkly, the hills lusher, the flowers more intensely gorgeous. The scents that accompanied the pine trees I passed by, or the blooming jasmine that wafted through my open car windows were more potent than I remembered. Each little outing I took became the week’s highlight, something to help me get from one week to the next without losing my mind.
· I kinda like my simplified life. I admit that in the beginning weeks, I literally felt like a caged animal. I knew as a society we were on a joint mission to prevent a potential disaster, but that doesn’t mean I had to like it. Just being prevented from going to the gym about killed me. But the funny thing is that over time, even though I still missed my old life, I began to actually like my humble little monk life. My home felt like my sanctuary, safe and sane while the world seemed to spin out of control.
· I planted a garden. Just as so many others have recently done, I planted a garden. I am not the green thumb type, so the jury is still out as to whether my garden will actually produce anything. But being homebound (and kind of nervous about possible future food shortages) I decided to give it a shot. With my cousin (green thumb extraordinaire) coaching me on, I have planted a boatload of veggies and also planted a mandarin orange tree and blueberry bush. Fingers crossed that I don’t kill them all.
I guess, when I look back on the spring of 2020, I will have mixed emotions. Sure, the inconvenience, the financial hit, and the heightened anxiety level have not been fun. But I hope I will also recall the many ways that this unusual springtime in my life also brought me many unexpected blessings. Now, with much hope and prayer, I only hope that Summer 2020 is going to be at least okay. Of course, with so much uncertainty in the air, anything can happen…
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